


Megatron for President

by Archaeopteryx_Feather



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:49:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archaeopteryx_Feather/pseuds/Archaeopteryx_Feather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Election Parody: Megatron decides to run for President, with Starscream as his running mate.  A primetime interview with the Decepticon Party nominees produces the following transcript.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Megatron for President

Bob: Since the recent treaty with the Decepticons, everyone has been wondering, "What's next?" But no one could have anticipated this result. In an unprecedented move, Megatron, leader of the newly formed Decepticon Party, has put himself forward as a candidate for the presidency of the United States. Here's Katie with an interview.

Katie: If elected, what would you do about the issue of global warming?

Megatron: I would drain the heat energy out of the earth's core to bring down the global thermometer. I think the Decepticon Party's track record in this regard speaks for itself.

Katie: That it does! The world is still reeling from devastating famines caused by crop failures linked to Decepticon activities during the July Winter.

Megatron: Yes, and I'm truly sorry for what happened. In retrospect, our estimates of the environment impact of draining all the heat energy out of the Earth's core were clearly flawed. I would like to extend my personal condolences to everyone who was affected by this tragedy. Our new data suggests that we can correct any future inadvertent temperature drops by using spacebridge technology to draw the Earth closer to the healing warmth of the Sun.

Katie: Your sun-warming plan has attracted criticism from the academic community. A number of environmental organizations claim the Earth would be, quote, "burned up." What would you say to these people?

Megatron: There are always going to be naysayers who lack the conviction to take decisive action in a global crisis. If we want to balance the Earth's temperature, we have to be willing to embrace change in a bipartisan spirit. I want to reach across the aisle to Republicans, Democrats and Autobots alike and urge them to support the Patriotic Temperature Restoration Plan.

Katie: Some Autobot critics have been particularly opposed to the PTRP.

Megatron: Yes, well, I'm not saying that the Autobots don't support the support the idea of a Decepticon president, but their lack of support for the PTRP has been disappointing. A partisan approach to the issue of global temperature control is exactly what we don't need right now.

Katie: You've been critical of the Autobots in the past.

Megatron: While I respect my Autobot colleagues' good intentions, the fact that their leader wears a mask makes one wonder. What does he have to hide?

Katie: I understand there have been some questions about your place of birth, Megatron. You're not a native born citizen of the United States.

Megatron: You raise an excellent question. However, I'd like to point out that the Constitution reads, "No Person except a natural born Citizen, _or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution_ , shall be eligible to the Office of President." When the Constitution was adopted in 1788, I was lying in stasis within the borders of modern America, so I actually do meet the eligibility requirements. You might say I've been a citizen from the very beginning.

Katie: The polls show your running mate has strong support among women and African Americans.

Starscream: I think they seeing a black face in the running. Also, I can fly. What woman could resist that?

Katie: What an amazing coincidence that you have a red, white, and blue color scheme!

Starscream: I love my country and I want everyone to know it.

Katie: Megatron, if elected, you would be the first alien robot president. How does that make you feel?

Megatron: It's a privilege to be given the opportunity to serve my country, Katie. I feel both honored and profoundly humbled by the chance to represent the world's greatest nation as the first alien robot. It shows we're really breaking some boundaries, and opening up new opportunities for those who have been marginalized in the past.

Katie: It's been great having you on. Good luck!

**Author's Note:**

> The sad part is that our actual political leadership isn't much different from this fanfic.


End file.
